Rocks

She left the Elm trees swaying in the early spring breeze, picking up rocks as she walked. Feeling the smooth, calm, coolness of them as she slipped them into her pockets, one by one.

She was leaving the only home still standing, the only one ravaged by pain, rather than the Germans. How could she hope to recover this time, when once again, everything was beginning to tear at the seams?

Another rock, another weight.

She had left the notes, only two. Her words hadn’t flowed and that’s when she knew.

Another rock, another certainty.

She returned to the Elms, swaying in the summer sunshine.

Finally finding peace as she slept beneath the intertwined trees, which she had once named after each of them.

‘Against you I fling myself, unvanquished and unyielding, O death! The waves broke on the shore’

~ Virginia Woolf, The Waves

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A Summer Without Salt

Photo by Engin Akyurt from Pexels
 It's not natural of course  
For a girl who feels it all
It's not normal at all
When there is no protective wall

The tears, they were a burden
Escaping as often as they did
The tears were as frequent as words
Spilling freely from tired lids

But then, 200mg every night
And throw a cover over the pain
But then you know it's not really gone
And it will always remain

A summer with no tears
No salty cleanse, no relieving sob
A summer of not crying at all
It's hard not to feel robbed

Because how else can I get rid of this pain?
This heavy, noisy, aching, unrelenting sadness
Because it is just hidden in the corner
Waiting to unleash its madness

But what will happen if I stop?
Put the pills away
But what will happen to my mind?
If I carry on this way

The Persistent Heart


Photo by Garon Piceli from Pexels

They warned her

Time and time again

‘Your heart is too big

… it’s not if it will break, but when’

And so quietly she whispered

She begged and she pleaded

‘Please heart, please shrink down

… they tell me it’s not needed’

But her heart continued to grow

Bigger than she could contain

‘Your purpose lies within me

… and love should not be tamed’

And so, the heart it won

And the girl continued to live

Her heart, it finally convinced her

That the greatest gift, is to give.


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The Nature of Us

Image credit: Pixabay @ Pexels

We feel…

Every. Little. Thing

Emotions swim through us
Like time-lapse boats on a lake

Swift, fast and unforgiving

Hardly pausing to catch breath
No time to collect thoughts

There are new ones to have
New ideas
New words
New boats to add to the current

We laugh too much
Tell too much
Think… too much

Of you, of words that lingered on lips too long
Things that weren’t said
Comfort that should have been given
That was just

Out. Of. Reach

So we beat on
Our boats against the current

And we’ll care. Too much
And we’ll love. Too much

Because
There is
No other way.

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