Guest Post – Too Intense

Today’s guest post is brought to us by the beautiful April from Tales Of Night Creatures – a wonderful blog of ‘Short stories, poetry, fiction and thinkpieces for the witching hour’. You will see from the first paragraph down below how talented she is and I am truly honoured to have her contribute to my series of ‘Too…’ posts ❤

Image credit: Joshua Newton @ Unsplash

Too… Intense

Having or showing strong feelings or opinions.”

I often feel, while I’m here trying to be authentic and open and compassionate, focusing on my vision and making things better… that people find it too much, too intense. That I’m too much myself, and that’s a bad thing.

Being too intense means it’s wrong to care about things a lot, to be conscientious or want to make things better, to do a job thoroughly and well.

To have feelings about things and want to express them properly. Or to have passions and interests and pursuits that aren’t mainstream, or which focus on issues or big picture stuff, or that mean you talk about true things and it’s not socially acceptable.

To have strong feelings and to express them can be too intense. As a writer, this ability is somewhat necessary. To translate the emotional inner life into language which can express and resonate with another human being, in a performative act of empathic connection- this is powerful on the page.

In real life, people don’t like it very much.

Feeling strongly about something can be empowering. It incites action, momentum, change. I trust the intensity of my instincts and feelings to give me important information about people and situations. I trust the authenticity of my passions to enable me to act accordingly with my values and to sometimes act on behalf of others, who otherwise may not have a voice or advocate.

However, this doesn’t always translate well. A milder response may be amusement at my animated reaction, or befuddlement. Sometimes people can glaze over and look bored or change the subject. And occasionally it can be met with derision or hostility. This is hard if it comes from those whose opinion we value.

It leads to feeling ashamed, of being too much or too intense. It was stupid to care, and it was stupid to talk about it. My self-talk becomes critical and harsh, my mood plummets and I become very upset. This upset, of course, is deemed disproportionate and too intense for the cause.

Being labelled “too intense” is shameful, because it means you have been labelled as unacceptable, you have overstepped your prescribed boundaries of status. As sensitive types, we self-regulate and monitor and keep ourselves in check, dreading this censure. To be too intense is to possess too much feeling in a world priding itself on its logic, control and detachment from nature. It is excessive, coded feminine or weak, not always valued.

When you act from a place of authenticity, sensitivity and passion, you tend to think and feel very much about what you’re doing and saying, and whether this is in alignment with your truth. You question everything, because you notice and feel everything, and you want to make things better, because things being the way they are is not acceptable if that means others are disadvantaged or in pain. Somehow, maintaining a façade, or petty matters of convention, don’t seem to matter as much.

And because you very much want to make things better, or to make others feel better, you propel yourself forward into situations and conversations where you’re pushing the boundaries of what others want to think and feel about.

This isn’t about pushing or enforcing a dogma onto other people, or being controlling; it’s about maybe being really enthusiastic about the environment so that you instigate recycling initiatives at your workplace, litter pick on the way home and gently but consistently talk to others about ways to cut down on plastic waste.

Or feeling so strongly about trans and non-binary rights that you firmly but politely challenge hateful speech and jokey transphobia socially, share petitions and go to march at Pride with a transgender youth group.

It’s about feeling so acutely that something needs to be done to help others or to make things better, you can’t help acting. Even if the cost is misunderstanding or being judged.

Being too intense can be synonymous with being too sensitive. Taking things deeply to heart, considering the weight and import of conversations and interactions, or communicating honestly about those feelings and thoughts can be too much for a fair number of people.

I would like to challenge them by asking why.

With current mental health statistics demonstrating that many of us are negotiating dark and painful territory, often in isolation, talking about our true feelings can be a release.

In relationships, communicating honestly and openly can alleviate many issues. And, from experience, it can save time right from the beginning to be bravely honest and expressive about what you want and need in romantic relationships. This doesn’t necessarily mean a declaration of love, but in terms of values and behaviour and boundaries you have or desire or will accept. And being true to who you are and what matters to you will attract like minded kindred spirits, and repel those who wouldn’t fit well anyway.

Having intense feelings and empathy for others fuels us to acts of compassion and kindness. The art we create is rooted in this capacity to feel as others do, the caring professions we work in are motivated by the desire to alleviate pain and ease discomfort, the social causes and charities we support soar when we act from a place of love and respect for others.

 Our ethics and values which respect the lives and well-being and wholeness of other beings arise from both our emotional empathy and our earnest belief in those feelings as possessing worth and substance.

Maybe, for some, I will always be too intense. Or too serious, or sensitive. That’s okay, because to reclaim these as positive characteristics is to repurpose their place in making our world and our lives a better place.

Check out Aprils other writings here: Tales of Night Creatures
And you can also follow her on Instagram and see some of here beautiful artwork here: Aprilydaze

Guest Post – Breathing Techniques

Today we welcome Ashley from who has written a post all about breathing techniques that she has learnt and found useful in moments not only of discomfort, but also in her day-to-day life, resulting in better sleep and generating a more positive start to the day.

Ashley’s blog is a hive of positivity, honesty and motivation – definitely worth checking out and following ❤ She will also be publishing a post written by me all about Kindness over the next couple of days so be sure to keep your eyes peeled on my social media channels for that….

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash

Breathing Techniques

Breathing is an important part of life. There are many benefits to it that are more than keeping you alive. It can help regulate emotions and raise your vibrations. Recently, I found out it can help with loosening different parts of our bodies. Here are some breathing techniques that can support you in different ways.

Abdomen Breathing

How it is done: With one hand on the chest and the other on the belly, take a deep breath in through the nose, ensuring the belly inflates with the upper lungs inflating last. Then release through the mouth. Do this for about 5-10 minutes

Why: This helps you stay calm and centered when dealing with stressful events. If you have an exam or a job interview coming up do this for 5-10 minutes before. It allows you to relax your mind and body and be in the moment.

Alternating Breathing

How it is done: Hold the right thumb over the right nostril and inhale deeply through the left nostril. At the peak of inhalation, close off the left nostril with the ring finger, then exhale through the right nostril. Continue the pattern, inhaling through the right nostril, closing it off with the right thumb and exhaling through the left nostril. Continue for 5 minutes

Why: This technique helps calm the nervous system allowing for better sleep and stimulating your digestion decreasing constipation. I recently found out this helps with softening the pelvic floor.

Relaxed Breathing:

How it is done: Lay down, and breathe normally. Be aware of your breathing and allow your thoughts to just be. When they come, just concentrate on the breaths. It may be best to do this before bed, as it may make you fall asleep.

Why: it helps you become in tune with yourself. Allowing you to make decisions coming from a place of peace rather than anxiety or fear

Circular Breathing:

How it is done: Sit in a chair comfortably. Take a deep breath in through your nose, all the way to your belly. hold for 5 seconds. Release slowly through your mouth. Feel the air moving in a circle through your body as you breathe in and out. Do this for 5-15 minutes. Best done in the morning.

Why: Breathing in through the mouth allows positive energy to enter. The moving of air in a circle releases the energy already in the body. Exhaling releasing the negative from the body.

These techniques can be done every day for the best results. The techniques are great to use whenever you need. The circular breathing I do every morning because it allows my day to start off with a positive vibration. The others I use when needed, sometimes every day, sometimes once a week.

Try them for 3 weeks every day and tell us how you feel after!

Written by Ashley Sprinkel,

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